The Peak Performance Expert

Should kids be taught to be mentally tough?  Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd seems to think so.  Weissbourd’s book, “The Parents We Mean to Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children’s Moral and Emotional Development” was mentioned in an article by Joanna Weiss in today’s Boston Globe http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/articles/2009/04/11/tough_talk/ 

In the article, Weiss recounts the story of a soccer coach who raised an uproar when he jokingly wrote to parents suggesting, among other things, that they put their kids on a diet of veggies, fish, and “undercooked red meat.” Weiss’s article questions the wisdom of parents who protect their kids from adversity and Dr. Weissbourd is quoted as saying that kids need adversity to develop coping skills. Everything today is designed to make life more easy and comfortable: delivery companies, iPhones, GPs, o2 broadband, television, loans. Many people rarely experience hardship, difficulty or problems that take time, effort and some struggle to overcome. Modern society doesn’t do patience and grit, as much as it does technology and ease– and it should.  

This reminds me of a friend of mine who told me that when he was just learning to crawl, his dad put pillows in his way to teach him to overcome obstacles.  This fellow revered his dad and to this day credits his technique for teaching him to forge ahead no matter what.  My friend is a successful internet guru who makes millions.  And he has indeed overcome many serious obstacles in his life. 

Now you may wish to forego installing a pillow obstacle course for your kids but as a psychologist, a mental game coach, and a peak performance maven, I have to agree that the experience of failure can be one of life’s greatest teaching moments.  I believe that making a mistake or losing out on a deal or falling flat on your face can be a wonderful opportunity for learning.  I encourage my clients to view such instances as data, as information that can be used to determine what went wrong and what needs to be fixed in order to succeed in the future. Parents, teachers and coaches can do the same.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 11th, 2009 at 3:23 pm and is filed under Championship Mindset, Mental Toughness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.