The Peak Performance Expert

Alex Rodriguez’s recent admission that he used steroids to help him manage the pressure of being the highest paid ball player in Major League Baseball has raised a firestorm of controversy. 

Of course, this is understandable since A-Rod isn’t just a baseball player; he’s a celebrity of rock star status. He’s also a lightning rod (pun not really intended) who seems to generate intense positive and negative emotional reactions from the public – some of it his own doing (remember the “dates” with the blond stripper?). 

As a peak performance coach with an interest in mental toughness, I am always curious to see how people handle pressure since this is a measure of a person’s mental toughness.  It’s now how well someone performs when things are easy but rather how well that person functions when things get challenging that, in part, determines one’s mental toughness. 

Being the highest paid anything comes with both realistic and unrealistic expectations. And of course, there is pressure to meet those unrealistic expectations so it’s possible that A-Rod succumbed to buying into those unrealistic expectations, thinking he had to be a miracle worker (or believing he was). 

Now I realize that A-Rod and his handlers are trying to spin this tale to make it more palatable to the public and certainly Alex’s arrogance and impulsivity have gotten him in trouble before but I think there is some truth in what he says. He was only 18 when he entered the MLB and there are few 18 year olds who have the wisdom and maturity to handle that kind of exposure. And although I have no way of knowing this for sure, it’s unlikely he had a good mentor to guide him. 

The problem with some young athletes who are flung into the world of big money and big fame is that they are ill prepared to handle it all.  They become surrounded by people who idealize them and by people who use them. They get used to the idealization and begin to believe they are invincible and not subject to the rules that govern mere mortals. They believe they can get away with things because they are getting away with things until one day… 

Fast forward to 2001 and the use of those banned substances. Our boy was 26 and now says, “It was very loose. I was young, I was stupid, I was naïve. And I wanted to prove to everyone that I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time. I did take a banned substance. And for that, I am very sorry and deeply regretful.” 

Is he sorry because he was caught or is he really sorry that he used the drugs? No way can we know.  He was smart to come forward (or his handler was smart to encourage him to do so) and confess and it was smart to hold the press conference today in which Alex offered a few more details. 

A-Rod was clearly anxious during the press conference.  He took a swig of water every few seconds (dry mouth is a typical sign of anxiety) as he read his statement and answered questions.  His most authentic moment was when he looked at his teammates and couldn’t speak for several seconds.  I think if he had spoken he would have cried but he shifted in his seat, looked away and up as he fought back the tears and then managed to say, “Thank you.” 

There’s no denying A-Rod’s talent; he’s got the stuff although there are questions about his post-season playing (another test of mental toughness) where he disappoints (unless you’re a Red Sox fan!). 

So to get back to the mental toughness question – how mentally tough is Alex Rodriguez?   How does he manage pressure – the pressure of the expectations of others and self; the pressure of coming through in clutch situations; the willingness to play fair even when it’s not going your way (remember him swatting the ball out of Arroyo’s hands in ’04?)? Maybe not so well, eh? 

Now good old fashioned maturity plays into mental toughness and that’s where Alex definitely needs some work. His exploits off the field attest to that. We can hope that this situation will help Alex grow up; to realize that he is not invincible, that he is not untouchable, that he is not flawless. But he cannot do it alone.  Ideally he would get assigned a mentor, someone with the wisdom and maturity that Alex seems to lack.  Of course, there is the option of some professional help.  I don’t mean 5 days a week on the couch but certainly therapy with a straight talking therapist could be of great benefit to him. 

Alex Rodriguez is a man of immense talent and promise who has certainly contributed excitement to the game of baseball.  I support his desire to move forward. I applaud his seemingly heart-felt confession.  Sometimes these events serve as a wake-up call that changes people for the better.  Only time will tell. 

I was watching a Celtics game recently where the referees seemed to be making a series of bad calls.  The TV commentators were complaining about it, too. I was curious about how the players would react to these calls and noticed that most quickly shrugged them off and got back on track.  This is definitely a sign of mental toughness, i.e., the ability to minimize the impact of distractions, get refocused and deal with the task at hand. 

This got me thinking about life in general.  In case you haven’t noticed, life is often unfair. Hard working people lose jobs and homes and sloths win the lottery.  So, what do you do?  The true test of a person’s character isn’t how he or she functions when things go well but rather, when things get rough. 

Have you ever noticed how 2 people might both encounter a series of hardships and yet each deals with it differently?  One might be a whiner and the other a winner; one sees impossible obstacles and gloom and doom and the other sees challenges and opportunities. Which type are you? 

Now I am not minimizing the very real pain that some of you might be experiencing due to layoffs, loss of investments (you should see my IRAs!), and so forth.  And it’s perfectly ok and understandable to acknowledge and feel that pain but then – what? 

It’s then time to take a step back, assess your situation in an objective fashion and create a plan of action.  What needs to change in order for you to move through this rough period?  Who can you call for advice or assistance?  What or who will give you emotional sustenance? 

A mentally tough individual views mistakes and set-backs as opportunities for learning and growing; do you?

A good gauge of a team’s focused competence is the sounds emanating from our TV room.  If there are a lot of “aws” and “I can’t believe its!” it’s probably because our team (the Celtics) is missing shots that should not be missed.  

Ok, easy for us to say – we’re sitting there warm and cozy in our slippers, sipping wine as we watch the big guys sweat but – as a scholar and student of sports psychology and mental toughness, I  know a few things that give me permission to spout off now and then. 

Let’s just look at why someone misses a shot.  There are several possibilities including being bumped or pushed by another player, thus interfering with the player’s physical lay up.  But what about other reasons?  I would argue that every other reason has to do with focus. 

If a player is well focused he will only attempt a shot he knows he can make and everything will be properly aligned.  He won’t shoot out of desperation or because he’s overly eager or because he’s trying to prove something. Those thoughts, in a focused, mentally tough performer, will be either dismissed or absent. 

What I saw last night was some occasional sloppiness (albeit along with some superb playing, too) that contributed to the loss. There were many lost opportunities that were lost due to that distractibility factor. 

One of the tests of true mental toughness is the ability to manage distractions that interfere with focus.  A focused mind is a competent mind and a competent mind leads to competent playing. 

There are techniques to improve focus and I have addressed this in previous posts. 

We’ll see what my guys do tonight. 

As a Celtics fan, I’m relieved to see them sweep the Toronto Raptors after having lost their last 4 games.  As a peak performance psychologist, I am intrigued by the phenomenon of winning streaks and losing streaks.

What are the factors that contribute to a team (or a company or a person) winning time and time again?  And what are the factors that derail the winning streaks?

The answers (or at least some of them) are to be found in a book called Confidence by Rosabeth Moss Kanter.  (The subtitle is: How Winning Streaks and Losing Streaks Begin and End.)

Kanter, a professor at the Harvard Business School, explores why organizations of all kinds, even when overflowing with talent, are not winners.  She also looks at winning sports teams and businesses to uncover the secrets of success.

Keeping the Celtics in mind, Kanter would say that winning is hard work. “Winners are bolstered by a large number of forces that keep them going strong.  But the ultimate responsibility for winning is carried by the individuals who must go out onto the field and play the game.  Confidence motivates performance but the people involved must still perform.  Confidence produces team work, but the team must still do the work.”

She goes on to say that “…success is a matter of showing up to do the work as a member of a team that can relax under pressure…because they are so well prepared.” (This comment confirms that the work I and other performance coaches do contributes to success since much of my work is in finding ways to help people attain a calm, focused confidence that can be sustained under pressure.)

So then why do winning streaks end?   Kanter reminds us that success is hard work; it is never easy or automatic and even some of the wins are close calls.  Plus the history of long-term winners, Kanter says, includes breaks in their winning streaks.  Kanter says that “A loss is a crossroads, not a cliff.”  This sounds remarkably similar to what Doc Rivers had been saying during the recent losing streak.

Kanter remarks that it is rarely external factors that disrupt winning streaks but more likely the players own failure to “…maintain the disciplines and support systems that helped them turn winning into a habit in the first place.”

Not only that, but winners, in becoming the team to beat, face opposing teams who are revved up in their determination to win. (Lakers, anyone?)

Yeah, I like this book.  I recommend it especially for anyone who might be leading a team or a company or who just enjoys a good read.

Yeah, yeah, I know…you’ve been meaning to get that whatever done for 3 months now but something always gets in the way. 

Let’s be honest.  That “something” is you. 

After working with countless clients who are self described procrastinators, I have come to see procrastination as an anxiety problem.

In many case, it’s the drive for perfection and fear of failure that creates a nasty performance = anxiety cycle. 

A typical scenario goes like this: Client starts to work on a project.  Internal dialog gets cranked up – “I really don’t know enough about this. They’ll think I’m stupid. I’ll never be as a good as X. I don’t know where to begin.” And on it goes. 

Of course such thinking either incites or exacerbates anxiety and when Client is anxious Client seeks to reduce anxiety. Working increases anxiety and not working reduces it. But Client is clever at disguising “not-working” by engaging in research which means searching the internet for more information which leads to discovering fascinating places to visit which leads to checking out cheap flights and boutique hotels which leads to an exchange of emails with friends about potential travel plans.  And before you know it, 2 hours have gone by and although Client now has a dream vacation arranged, the Project is still not done. 

So how does Client get a grip and get it done?  

First step – recognize the work = anxiety relationship and then admit that Client engages in procrastination (or research) in order to reduce the anxiety. 

Second step – identify and challenge the negative thinking that contributes to the anxiety. This ain’t easy but it is doable!  Client keeps track of negative thinking to get attuned to nasty internal dialog.  Client then evaluates and confronts cognitive distortions and changes them to be more realistic and objective.  Likely, this alone will help calm Client. 

Third step – change the negative association Client has with working on the Project. Client uses pleasant self-calming technique and breathing exercise to move into a nice, positive state of inner calm and then, and only then, Client begins to work on task at hand. 

As soon as calm disappears, Client stops and employs relaxation technique again. Each time Client feels anxious or uncomfortable or was tempted to blog or surf the net, Client takes a deep breath and go back into the relaxation stance.  

In other words, the Client is  being taught to retrain  mind and body to associate a pleasant feeling with work.  Prior to this, Client had inadvertently trained him/herself to associate work with unpleasant feelings which was then avoided by “procrastinating.”  

Clients always object to this recommendation saying they will never get anything done if they have to stop work when they get anxious but then they realize that they weren’t getting anything done anyway!

Client agrees to try and eventually is able to transform work style to an effective, productive one. The work = pain/anxiety relationship has been disrupted.

Yes, if you work in a cubicle this may be challenging.

Leave it to Charlie Brown to find the torrential downpour in every cloud.  He could benefit from some mental toughness training to help him learn how to reframe those negative thoughts.

Unlike Charlie, I enjoy this season and hope you do too.  I wish you every happiness this holiday season.

Are you hiding from success?

Sometimes clients tell me they are frustrated because their hard work is not being recognized or rewarded.  These are people who work hard, are loyal employees, and follow all the rules. So, what’s the problem?  Often it is lack of visibility.  These folks tend to work hard behind the scenes and shrink away from the spotlight. They do not speak up in meetings.  They do not propose new ideas in a public fashion.  They avoid conflict.  They do not publicize their successes.  They do not take risks.  They do not initiate connections with new prospects.  They do not offer to be a speaker at a company event.  As a result,  they are over-looked and forgotten.

The reasons for their reluctance include cultural constraints, shyness, social anxiety, or ignorance about how the “system” works.  The latter can be easily amended.  Once they realize that they need to be more visible, some are able to set up a plan of action and move forward.  This might look like joining a networking group to generate leads  and informing the boss about this initiative.  Or it could be planning to bring up certain topics in a meeting or offering to lead a team.  Or it could be providing the boss with a detailed list of accomplishments.   The thrust is a deliberate campaign to highlight progress and accomplishments.

Some clients know they should do all this but their cultural heritage frowns on such “self-promotion.”  One woman, a Chinese-American, told me that such behavior was not approved of in her culture even though she saw the utility of it for her career.  We were able to find some ways she could become more visible at work without it being too uncomfortable for her. I also taught her how to reframe it as her helping others to succeed (by being a more pro-active team leader) and helping her company reach its financial goals.  Once she saw it wasn’t all about her, she emerged from her cocoon and became a quiet but forceful spokesperson for her company. 

Elite athletes are trained to not only manage but triumph in difficult situations.  This ability is often referred to as mental toughness.  I would say it is certainly part of the story. 

Athletes aren’t the only people who have to deal with difficult situations, of course and so it’s useful for everyone to learn what athletes pay sports psychologists for. 

In tense situations some people have a tendency to be reactive. That is, their attention narrows and so they fail to see the big picture and they jump to conclusions, dive into a conversation; defend their point of view vociferously (without giving the other guy a chance to explain himself) and generally get themselves into all kinds of trouble. 

It’s good to put a wedge or create a space between the impulse and the action. The space gives you a bit of time to reflect and consider what action should be taken.   I like to think of it as being similar to hitting the “pause” button on your remote control.   When you do so, you create a temporal and emotional space during which you can decide what to do next. 

The full recipe is as follows:  

Zoom out (to create a cognitive and emotional distance from a tense situation)

Pause (to create a cognitive and emotional space in which to reflect on the situation, challenge potentially negative distorted thinking, and consider best response)

Zoom in (to return to the situation and respond appropriately)

Repeat until you get it.

 Now this really works – if you actually practice it!

I used this with a client recently who tended to believe her competence was being challenged in meetings when anyone asked her a question. We simulated the situation with me asking her questions and her getting rattled or annoyed.  I then asked her to step back, literally, exhale slowly and imagine she was zooming out, way out, to create distance from the situation.

 During the pause in action, I asked her to quickly challenge her thinking, to sort through the distortions and regroup and when she was calm, to resume or zoom back in. We did this over and over until she mastered the pattern: zoom out, pause, and zoom in. 

Now of course I didn’t expect that in a real meeting, this person would say, “Excuse me while I zoom out and pause.” But it is possible to train your body and your mind to respond in the way you want and that is what happened with this client who learned how to quickly zoom out, pause, and then respond appropriately.  It does take time to master a new skill.  Athletes engage in drills where they perform the same task over and over until it’s second nature. You can, too.

(St. Petersburg Times article.)

Coach Jon Gruden of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers explained his philosophy on losing 38-23 at Carolina on Wednesday by saying his team should essentially forget and move on. 

He said, “And I just think you’ve got to have a short-term memory. You’ve got to really live in the future. You’re never as good as you think you are, and you’re never as bad as you think you are, no matter what anybody thinks.”

Gruden further said, “This is about mental toughness, I think, too. You’ve got to continue doing what you’re doing and believe in yourselves. I think we have the character in our locker room that will allow us to do that.”

Well, I’m surely not a football coach but I still say Gruden has it half right.  A mentally tough performer doesn’t simply forget about a failure or a mistake and he or she doesn’t simply “continue doing what you’re doing” but rather, a mentally tough performer will step back and assess what went right and what went wrong and use the mistake or loss as an opportunity to learn and to improve.

So in my work with my clients (who aren’t football players but are business people), I suggest they adopt this useful phrase: “Isn’t it interesting that…”  The phrase helps in creating an attitude of healthy curiosity and also establishes a bit of distance from the negative emotional punch of the loss or mistake.

So, for example, when a client tells me she had a terrible meeting where she fumbled words,  couldn’t answer questions clearly, and seemed to lose the confidence of her team, I would encourage her to do the following:  First, take a moment to acknowledge the pain or embarrassment of the situation (you need to honor that reality).  Second, say, “Isn’t it interesting that the meeting went so terribly; I wonder what contributed to that outcome?”

This leads to a problem solving mode where we can pick apart what, if anything, went well, what went poorly and why, and what she needs to do differently in the future.  This approach builds mental toughness.

Okay, I know he’s not even on the scene right now since he’s recuperating from knee surgery but it’s such a pleasure to watch the great Tiger Woods. As you take a peek at his expertise, remember the lesson embedded in it: focus and commitment are keys to success.

A while back, after a tournament when he did not fare well, Tiger was asked what went wrong and his response was, “I just wasn’t thinking right.”  Tiger knows all too well that you become what you think!